Sort of Scared

I'm sort of scared out of my mind right now. I went to adjust my strapless that I was wearing today and when my fingers brushed a spot almost under my arm on the left side of my breast I felt a lump under the skin that was painful. I called the doctors office and I have an appointment in the morning.

I'm sure it's probably nothing, breast cancer doesn't run in my family, no one that we know of has ever had it and the lump wiggles. It still scares me however. It hurts when I put any pressure on that spot so I have to be careful with how I lay my arm down.

I'm sure people think I am blowing it out of porportion with how I am worrying about it, but aside from my asthma and a case of lead poison when I was a child, I have never been really badly sick. So my mind is thinking of all the horrible things it could be.

Cancer, Cyst, Tumor.

It's bad enough I am having problems with my neck but now this. I feel like I can't get a break. I'm finally back in school and I'm working on a book and life seemed like it was going in the right direction and then I end up having several different health issues.

I want to hide away from the world.

I'm watching Doctor Who. Season 5. I love Season 5. I love the fact that to Amy her imaginary friend was real.

it makes me wish from times when I was a child and I hoped and prayed that the magical would come true.